September’s First Unnecessary Q&A

Because I’ve had bad luck finding oddball questions recently, I’m changing the format of the weekly Q&A a little. From now on, the first four questions will be static questions repeated each week. Only the fifth question will vary from week to week.

Weather Forecast FAIL -- AGAIN

Weather Forecast FAIL -- AGAIN


Q: What really pissed you off this week?
A: Incompetent Weather Forecasting. For some reason, even though we have a history of temperatures; all the weather bureaus continually mispredict my Brea weather ninety days out of a hundred. That’s a FAIL. And we aren’t talking by a couple of degrees either. The norm is to predict temperatures four to five degrees lower than what actually occur. You would think that after a few years of this they would learn and adjust their program parameters and be able to be more consistently accurate. But no — that does not seem to be the case. And look at this screenshot (click to expand). Twelve degrees off! TWELVE DEGREES OFF! Oh, come on! Throw me an (unexpectedly hot) bone here! And notice that they didn’t even correct the original forecast. When you have modern technology and recorded history, there is really no excuse to be off the mark every day. And I won’t even start on the fact that some days the same people inform us that Brea has high surf advisory. High surf. Like Brea is 30 or more miles from the ocean. That’s got to be some f–kingly high surf, dude.

Q: What was the biggest event of the week?
A: It was a double-header, actually. I got AT&T mobile with an iPhone and a mobile data package. I can now send and receive email, text, videos, etc. I can also use apps such as SKOUT, FourSquare, to stalk people. I mean to connect with people. But that’s not all. AT&T were running a special promotion and I decided to take advantage of it and get U-Verse (AT&T’s fiber optic cable TV). Now my landline, internet broadband, and TV are all on fiber optic. I got the U-100 package for the TV which is way more than I need or want. My internet access is now consistently faster than it used to be. Next week’s big event, sadly, will be as exciting but not as enjoyable.

Q: What caught your internet eye?
A: I can’t even remember how I found this, but I like the site so much that I have put a link to it on my link list here on Dark Wysteria. Nick Holmes… posts a daily blog. But it’s not actually a word blog — it’s a picture blog with very short captions. But these aren’t pictures of his Aunt Dora or his pet dog. These are, well… weird shit — yeah, that works — weird shit from the internet that he finds and captures in sort of a Bizarre Photo Zoo. Depending on the day and the choices, the pictures will provoke in you any reaction from a smile to a LOL and even a few ROFLs.

Q: What are you reading?
A: The Phoenix Endangered by Mercedes Lackey and James Mallory. It is Book 2 of the Enduring Flame Trilogy. I am about a third of the way through it. It’s a little irritating in that the heroes are your typical reluctant heros… “Oh, this can’t be happening to me.” “I’m not the hero type — how will I ever save the world!” “Maybe I should sit on my ass for a few months and do nothing while I try to figure it out.” Oh, Jesus, just STFU and get on with it! The two main heroes are two young guys — friends since childhood. They have comrade/partners in the form of a female centaur (off’d in the first book), a female unicorn, and a dragon whom I think is female but I’m not sure and I don’t intend to lift its tail to try to find out. Sometimes I think the two guys are going to end up as an item (wink wink) — they certainly bicker like an old married couple. Sometimes I FEAR they’re going to end up as an item with the unicorn and dragon. At this point I don’t know where it’s all going. The book is easy reading, but slow reading with regards to plot development and action. Stay tuned.

Q: Random Question of the Week: Physical Books or eReaders?
A: Mere months ago, I would have said that physical books were the only way to go for normal people and that eReaders were only for the elderly in nursing homes that needed big print and something that didn’t weigh more then they did to hold. That’s all changed. I was not happy with the Kindle 2; but I have fallen in love with the iPad. What books do I have on it? Well, um…er… none. You see, before I retired I spent a good number of years collecting books to read when I retired. So I already have a full library of hard-bound books that I’m working through. But I’ve become tired of the heavy books, and having to hold it open, and small print, and dim light, and pages that flip unexpectedly (or rip). As I was laying in the bedroom a few weeks ago fighting with a hard-bound on the bed (I will pause here so that you can let your minds leap into the quagmire of delightful dirty thoughts)… anyway, as I laid on my bed wrestling with a book it dawned on me. If the book was on my iPad not only would I not be wrestling with it, I would also be able to increase the print size and not have to have a hot lamp on to read it. So I fear that eReaders have won the battle — at least until the 2012-2013 great CME when technology (and civilization) as we know it comes to a dim and soundless end. I am currently looking for a new series to start on my eReader. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like the Science Fiction Book Club has embraced modern technology yet — how ironic.

September 5, 2010  Tags:   Posted in: Potpourri for $400  No Comments

Cryptogram Poem: Eighth Stanza

Solve the cryptograms below to find the clues for thirteen words. Solve each clue to find thirteen specific words. Place the thirteen words in the proper spaces below to create the eighth stanza of a poem. Check out the Ultimate Solutions Page for the solution when you think you have it. (All poems on this site are copyrighted by Phil McCrum.)

___ ____ long our Bard did _______ on
A ___ _____-________ _____.
Two _____ ______ _____ ________
But in a ________ ______.

CLUES…

#01 Olx wcxzoxuo kc ok olx wcxzoxuo xtoxro kc xexr olx ugnxcazovex ki “jgyl”.

#02 Vo ukgrhu avdx ukjxolvrw olzo svrh vu jzhx kgo ki, pgo zyogzaab jxzru “pxikcx”.

#03 Ikgrh kr z nazbvrw yzch zrh vr jkuo avevrw ycxzogcxu.

#04 Olvu yzr nxcozvr ok jxzugcxjxro kc vo yzr nxcozvr ok szrovrw ukjxolvrw cxzaab pzh. Vo’u zr zppcxevzovkr ikc z oxcj guxh ikc jzn ykkchvrzoxu.

#05 Rxsu yzr px olvu. Exlvyaxu hk vo. Nxknax hk vo svol svrh ukjxovjxu. Iczwvax olvrwu zcx zaszbu hkvrw vo.

#06 Uocvrwu zrh evrxu yzr wxo vrok olvu uozox zu sxaa zu nxknax vr nzuuvkr.

#07 Ukjxolvrw ok uxx zu sxaa zu ukjxolvrw ok evuvo zrh pkol skchu ukgrh zavdx.

#08 Bkgc axwu yzr hk olvu zu sxaa zu bkgc okrwgx zrh gugzaab jxzru ok skppax kc izaa hksr.

#09 Olvu vu olx jkuo igr szb ok px, pgo vo yzr zauk wxo bkg zccxuoxh vr ngpavy.

#10 Olvu vu z ulkco skch ikc zr grizekczpax ykrhvovkr zrh yzr zauk jxzr hvaxjjz kc ncxhvyzjxro.

#11 Slzo sx yzaa nxknax olzo zcx uxtgza nzcorxcu kc zcx lzevrw ukjx ikcj ki ziizvc.

#12 Olvu skgah yzr px guxh ok hxuycvpx ukjxolvrw zsx-vrunvcvrw pgo gugzaab vu guxh ok hxuycvpx ukjxolvrw zsiga zrh lkccvpax.

#13 Jxzrvrw “xrovcxab” kc “rxzcab”, Pcvovul nxknax kioxr xtyazvj vo vruoxzh ki “Czolxc!”.

August 30, 2010  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Games and Puzzles  No Comments

Can Q&A Get Any More Bizzare?

Q: If you were an operating system, which one would you be?
A: Windows, of course. Both Unix and Linux are slim and problem free — that doesn’t describe me at all. Mac OS X is classy, sexy, and all the cerebral, with-it people love and adore it — that’s way out of my league. Windows is big, bloated, full of problems and issues, sluggish, high-maintenance, and the target of constant attacks. People only deal with it because they have to. It’s used by the majority and held in disrespect and contempt by the same. Now THAT’s me! Hmmm…. I was created years before Microsoft Windows. Maybe I should sue them for copyright infringement.

Q: What’s in your coffee (or tea)?
A: First, I found this question on a website snuggled between a question asking “When’s the most fun time to make love?” and a question asking “What food do you play with in the bedroom?” and I had to wonder if the coffee/tea person was either totally NOT understanding the intent and flow of this particular thread or if she was actually just way ahead of everyone else involving unrealized — but highly gratifying — non-oral uses for beverages. Second, even the smell of coffee makes me nauseous. Finally, answering the question: In iced tea, I put lemon and sweetener. In hot tea, I put cream and sweetener. Sweetener is always artificial sweetener and not honey. Hacking sugar cane with a machete and fiercely pulverizing it’s dried corpse under a cruel rock is just too violent for me. Honey takes too much effort to milk the bees each morning. And for those of you that are wondering… I put nothing else in either tea or coffee and any beverage I consume is consumed via my mouth. That’s all just for the record.

Q: Bedknobs or Broomsticks?
A: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don’t know you people that well. This is a very private and personal question and highly inappropriate for public forums. But I don’t want to be rude and not answer the question, so I’ll just say “Other” and leave it at that.

Q: Ten (10) books to put on your desert island book shelf?
A: Not in any particular order of relevance:
#1: A Thousand and One Ways to Get Off A Deserted Island.
#2: How To Permanently Keep Sand Out Of Your Butt Crack (and Other Important Places).
#3: 100 Tropical Leaves That Won’t Cause A Rash When Used As TP.
#4: 101 Things To Do With A Banana (aka The Big Yellow Sex Book).
#5: Life After The Great CME.
#6: Buffy Coquedaen’s Big Book Of Fantasy World Creation.
#7: 500 Personalities You Can Develop To Stave Off Loneliness.
#8: Gilligan’s Isle Big Stupid Cookbook.
#9: Mad Dr. Branigan’s Do It Yourself Book Of Self Surgery and Other Health Cures.
#10: Shadrack D’Stratasphene’s Never-Ending Book of Fantasy.

Q: Do you have a website you go to a lot that you don’t want anyone to know you go there?
A: Yes, I do. Thank you for asking. Well, that’s all the questions for this week. See ya!

August 27, 2010  Tags:   Posted in: Potpourri for $400  2 Comments

Cryptogram Poem: Seventh Stanza

Solve the cryptograms below to find the clues for thirteen words. Solve each clue to find thirteen specific words. Place the thirteen words in the proper spaces below to create the seventh stanza of a poem. Check out the Ultimate Solutions Page for the solution when you think you have it. (All poems on this site are copyrighted by Phil McCrum.)

__ and ____ the _____ he ________
His _____ ____ in ____.
And __________ all _____ he ___
With ________ ____ _____.

CLUES…

#01 Oz byp-koxwgbzup xjhgzi gzxjhlauzj xwodup ygcu o wbhxu xwbu ozp gx dylmcup rgjw jwu kgziuhx.

#02 O pghumjgbz ox ruyy ox o jtdu bk kuojwuh.

#03 Ox o zblz gj’x o suomw bh o suoa dhbddup ld oiogzxj xbaujwgzi uyxu. Gj’x oyxb o doxj juzxu kbha bk oz ohmwogm rbhp kbh xwovgzi rbby khba o yoas.

#04 Bzu moz su. Tblh xdghgjx moz su. Jwu egi moz su. Aozt jwgzix moz su.

#05 Jwu doxj juzxu bk o rbhp jwoj auozx auozpuh ozp bkjuz gadygux zb xdumgkgm puxjgzojgbz.

#06 O kghxj zoau kbh kuaoyux bhgigzojgzi gz Gzpb-Ulhbduoz huigbzx ozp puhgvup khba jwu juha “cbho woybx” rwgmw auozx hbliwyt “aogpuz bk jwu xuo”.

#07 Jwoj rwgmw gx zbj “jwuxu” ohu bkjuz hukuhhup jb ox jwgx.

#08 Hgmw, xladjlblx, xjojuyt, pgizgkgup, ozp aotsu uvuz xlsygau!

#09 Jwu xwbhj doxj juzxu rbhp jwoj auozx “iujjgzi jbiujwuh”.

#10 O xuhgux bk jlzux rgjw o ygzuoh alxgmoy xjhlmjlhu xlgjosyu kbh wlaagzi, rwgxjygzi, bh bjwuhrgxu aocgzi alxgm.

#11 Duhjogzgzi jb bh wovgzi jwu floygjt bk sugzi jwu ihuojuxj — jwu xlduhyojgvu bk “almw”.

#12 Gk tbl dyot mohpx tbl moz wbyp jwgx gz xoau. Sghpx ohu bkjuz gz gj ozp tbl bkjuz igvu gj jb xbaubzu uyxu.

#13 Gk tbl wovu osxbhsup xbaubzu’x ojjuzjgbz bh wtdzbjgqup jwua.

August 23, 2010  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Games and Puzzles  No Comments

Ridiculous Questions and Ludicrous Answers

Q: What 10 songs and/or what 10 movies would you want with you if you get stranded on a deserted island?
A: Well… I wouldn’t want any. Because if I’m on a deserted island then my iPod, iTouch, iPad, laptop, DVD and/or MP3 player would run out of power within the first few hours of use and that would be the end of it no matter what 10 songs or 10 movies I had bought with me. It doesn’t take rocket science, people…! ;)

Q: What’s your favorite alchoholic beverage?
A: Didn’t I answer this once before? Maybe not. At home I only drink Bailey’s Cream. It’s the alcoholic’s chocolate milk. But if I go to a restaurant, bar, or party; I will order a Tom Collins. I never have more than two of those, and usually I only have one. I’m an easy drunk. ;)

Q: Diurnal or Nocturnal?
A: Do they have a term for “early morning only and dead by early afternoon”? No? Then I guess I’ll have to go with diurnal. Darkness is not only my old friend, but it’s also a potent sedative. During the winter, the minute it even thinks about getting dark I have to turn all the lights on in the house and also turn a noise-maker on (and we aint talking sex with the spouse here). If I encounter enough shadows I start to shut down at an alarming pace. While I feel that sleeping in past 7am has basically wasted the “entire” day, I do admit that I feel very envious of those people who go out at 9pm at night and are upset if the bar throws them out before 1am.

Q: If you could go live in a fictional world or place, where would you go live and why?
A: Well… it would definitely not be Arwic, Auberdine, Kvatch, or Jersey — that’s for sure. Ringworld would be fantastic from an never-ending exploration point of view, but dangerous without fellow savvy explorers (with big guns). The World of Tiers would have incredible mythology in it — the whole purpose of its creation. And I would be relatively safe as long as I had a portable portal to whisk me away to the top if things went wonky. I would gladly live in Xanth, but the bastards would probably kick me out for not having a magic ability. However, I would probably fit in the best by becoming a mythical entity in Wonderland. I am sure that there are huge areas of Wonderland that have never been told in tale nor actually explored. I could give the Jabberwock and the Bandersnatch stiff competition in the “creatures to avoid” arena.

Q: If you could go backwards or forwards in time and live anywhere, when and where would you live?
A: First choice would be the future… about 50 years from now… maybe 100. I am polyanna-ish enough to believe that there will be less prejudice and hatred then and technology will improve health and life conditions. The world will be even more amazing than it is now and we will all live long, happy, healthy lives in an environment of tolerance and acceptance. Okay, you guys — shut up! I really mean it (insert mad frownie here). So, I would like to live in the Pacific Northwest, New England, or Northern Europe circa 2100. Second choice would be to go back however many millennia I need to so that North America is an uninhabited wilderness. No people of any kind or prejudice. Just prestine wilds with all sorts of marvelous critters that are extinct now. Let me live in the Pacific Northwest (like upper California) or maybe Virginia on the East Coast.

August 20, 2010  Tags:   Posted in: Potpourri for $400  No Comments

Cryptogram Poem: Sixth Stanza

Solve the cryptograms below to find the clues for eleven words. Solve each clue to find eleven specific words. Place the eleven words in the proper spaces below to create the sixth stanza of a poem. Check out the Ultimate Solutions Page for the solution when you think you have it. (All poems on this site are copyrighted by Phil McCrum.)

His ________ was _____ and _____
And _________ and _____.
And ________ who ________ his ____
With ____ and _______ _______.

CLUES…

#01 Krsqnycyruql qekg et repcl — reu krqpan y seqpupzyq nvnru uhyu pc csnqqng gpddntnruql mku thlinc.

#02 Lek zyr nyu uhni, zyuzh uhni yc y deti ed y prdncuyuper, et mn zercpgntng ern ed uhni fhnr lek ytn ztyral.

#03 Lek reu erql syl uhpc ue tpgn uhn ckmfyl, mku lek ytn zercpgntng ue mn ern ml uhn sntcer fhe uyanc lek ue lekt gncupryuper.

#04 Fhyu snesqn ytn zyqqng fhnr uhnl yqq onu pr y mkrzh yrg fyuzh y sntdetiyrzn et chef.

#05 Lek zyr fyuzh uhncn sntdeti yu Cny Fetqg et qpza uhni yrg fhyza uhni erue Zhtpcuiyc yrg Nycunt opduc.

#06 Y tkoml unyi pr Fyqnc et zhpzanr ed uhn zeycu — lekt zhepzn.

#07 Y mqem-chysng yrpiyq uhyu pc edunr kcng ue gnreun ceinern fhe pc fnya yrg hyc re cspr et zektyon.

#08 Tnqyung ue uhn dqlpro vntipr ed uhn zeycu; uhncn ciyqqnt, ietn gnqpzyun mptgc hyvn mqyza hnygc yrg detang uypqc.

#09 Chekuc ed gnqpohu et cktstpcn yc fnqq yc fhyu lek ge fhnr lek unqq er ceinern.

#10 Pu’c fhyu lek ytn fhnr ceinern opvnc lek y qeyr, y dyvetymqn tyupro, et otyruc lek yzzncc ue y zeqqnon et euhnt yccezpyuper.

#11 Cztnyipro zhpqgtnr, cptnrc, utkisnuc, hytyrokpro feinr, yrg oykgl culqnc ed zqeuhpro ytn yqq uhpc.

August 16, 2010  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Games and Puzzles  No Comments

Friday the 13th Q&A…

Q: Potato chips or Tortilla chips?
A: This came from the ever-amusing wheezywaiter (Youtube), his own bad self. I don’t really have anything bad against tortilla chips, but it is definitely potato chips FTW! Plain, simple, crisp, and salty — they’re the best. You can use them with dips AND salsa and they come in way more flavors and styles than tortilla chips. And, OMG, some of them have ridges! :) Tortilla chips really only go best with salsa (and maybe guacamole or bean dip) and don’t taste like much unless you DO use salsa or something with them. Potato chips are dynamite by themselves.

Q: What do you think of mohawks, mullets, bouffants, and other “outlandish” hairstyles?
A: All hairstyles have the same situational approval factor that clothes do, in my humble opinion. There are few (if any) bad hairstyles. Hairstyles are affected in the extreme by the shape of a person’s face, the shape of a person’s skull, the length of their neck, their weight, their applied make-up, their age, and their personality. I have seen the exact same hairstyle on a number of men and some look gorgeous, others look boring or clunky, and some look downright asinine. A lot of extreme mohawks don’t look good on anything, but I have seen some very acceptable mohawks that actually looked sharp even in funky colors — because they were on the right guy. I’ve seen “Farah Fawcett” hairstyles that looked like shit on a number of women because their face was just the wrong shape for it. I’ve seen bald guys that look like rotted melons and bald guys that look like total studs. So it’s all relative. So I think most hairstyles are fine. When they go “wrong” it’s because the wrong people are sporting them under the wrong conditions.

Q: Do you think the legal drinking age should be lowered to 18?
A: Yes. I’m well aware of safety and risk. Some people can handle alcohol at an early age — some people can never handle it. Be that as it may, you don’t punish the many to punish the few (unless you are a very bad leader). My take on it is… at 18 a man or woman can join the military services and kill people. They can get jobs and work the grind. They have to pay taxes. They can vote. They can marry. They can become responsible for raising children. This makes them an adult. Adults should be able to have a drink. If they aren’t mature enough to drink alcohol then they are certainly NOT mature enough to get married, raise kids, or kill their fellow man in military service.

Q: So what was the funny childhood donut story you mentioned in last week’s Q&A?
A: When I was around four or five years old, my Mother took me out to run errands with her one Saturday morning. We stopped at a diner for a quick and cheap breakfast. I’m talking a real diner here — it was circa 1955. We sat at the counter on fixed stools that you could sit on and spin around. She got me a glass of milk and a glazed donut. Now mind you, I had eaten donuts before. This wasn’t a first. I don’t know where my little neurotic mind was that morning. But I bit into the donut and while I was chewing what I had bitten off, I looked at the donut. It had holes in it! Lots of holes and tunnels! Yeah, we all know they’re formed by yeast and air and heat and all that jazz and are found in all baked grain products. But for some reason I freaked and decided they were made by worms — big ones! I said very loudly “Momma this donut’s got worms in it!” which, of course, made every head in the diner turn. She quickly grabbed it horrified that I had probably just bitten into a wad of maggots, but there was nothing wrong with the donut. She told me it was fine and to go ahead and eat it. I wasn’t buying any of it. I began to wail “No! I don’t want to eat the worms!” and I started to cry. Loudly. Without stopping. The owner of the diner came over to try to calm me down, and got me another donut just to make me happy. Of course, it had “worms” in it, too! I wasn’t budging on my stance nor my sound level. She finally had to just pay and leave with me. I’m sure it was just one of thousands of incidents that embittered her against me until her dying day.

Q: Have you ever tried online mobile dating?
A: No. I’m currently not sure whether I should say “No — never!” or “No, not yet”. For those of you who don’t know, online mobile dating uses the GPS in your mobile device (iPad, phone, etc.) to locate “interested” entities that are actually near you “right now”. More and more traditional online dating services such as match.com are getting into online mobile dating and there are also sites that are mobile-only such as skout.com. The clever person can also use Twitter, Foursquare, Facebook (Facebook adding a Foursquare-like function within a few weeks), and any other social net-working or messaging software that uses GPS to notify anyone interested where you are. Online mobile dating allows you to immediately meet “interested” people at or near your current location on the fly. For instance, you can search for Mz. or Mr. Right while sitting in a restaurant and it will inform you of anyone else in the same restaurant, block, or city section that are also looking. You can actually use the system to physically locate them and hook up. They can track where you are. Excluding Twitter and other applications like it which provide generic GPS information only; my concern is that a person using online mobile dating systems with more specific GPS information can stalk people — even to the extent of following them home. I can also see it being exploited by con artists and burglars — “A-ha! I know where this person lives but her GPS shows her elsewhere — her house is empty!” The argument will be that you can turn your device off; but who wants their mobile device off all the time and what if you forget? This also seems to me to be a tool not for people looking for true relationships; but for those who want quick, meaningless sex hook-ups and are beyond desperate. Hmmmm… maybe I’ll look into it after all. (And, yes — it works on the iPad, laptops with GPS, and any smart phones with GPS.)

August 13, 2010  Tags:   Posted in: Potpourri for $400  2 Comments

Cryptogram Poem: Fifth Stanza

Solve the cryptograms below to find the clues for twelve words. Solve each clue to find twelve specific words. Place the twelve words in the proper spaces below to create the fifth stanza of a poem. Check out the Ultimate Solutions Page for the solution when you think you have it. (All poems on this site are copyrighted by Phil McCrum.)

An _______ _______ _____
Was all he ____ ____.
His ____ ______ and ____ ____ ____
As he __________ the _____.

CLUES…

#01 Dtyh nwf ql wf wrmlndybl rlhnayqyfo dtl plfodt cs wf cqmlnd ca cia tlwad’h rlhyal.

#02 Kci’bl rcfl dtyh yf dtl zwhd jydt npcdtyfo wfr yd wphc hcvldyvlh ihlr dc alsla dc dtl wndycf cs qalwuyfo rcjf ca rlzpldyfo hcvldtyfo.

#03 W pchl owavlfd jcaf riayfo dtl Vyrrpl Wolh qk qcdt aynt wfr zcca.

#04 Dtyh nwf rlhnayql pwfr wd dtl lrol cs w qcrk cs jwdla, rak pwfr, ca wf lfdyal ncifdak.

#05 Nwf ql ihlr dc vlwf “wd wfk dyvl” ca “yfnalwhyfopk” wfr hcvldyvlh lblf “wpjwkh”.

#06 Zpwhdyn twh rcfl yd jtynt yh occr jtlf jawzzyfo hcvldtyfo; qid jtlf w hwbyfoh wnncifd twh rcfl yd, yd yh blak qwr.

#07 Jtwd hcvldtyfo rclh jtlf yd twh ocddlf npchl ca flwa dc hcvldtyfo. Dc twbl vld jydt hcvlcfl sca hcvl alwhcf.

#08 Yd oacjh yf cnlwfh wfr cdtla pwaol qcrylh cs jwdla wfr yh ncfhyrlalr w rlhyacih zpwfd cfpk qk Mwzwflhl Ntlsh wfr hcvl tlwpdt-ncfhnycih zlczpl.

#09 W rco jwoh cfl, kci nwf rc dtyh ys kci scppcj hcvlcfl, qid yd yhf’d w hdcak fc vwddla tcj vint yd hcifrh pyul cfl.

#10 W swfnk jcar sca w aynt oallf.

#11 Jyfl twh dtlv. Hfwulh rcf’d.

#12 Dtl zwhd dlfhl sca w ncvzwnd jcar vlwfyfo lfpwaoyfo, vwdiayfo, lezwfryfo, ca rlblpczyfo.

August 9, 2010  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Games and Puzzles  No Comments

A Sick Bunch of Questions from A Sicko Blogger.

Q: What does a novel need to have in order to make you really get in to it?
A: I have to have a main protagonist (preferably male) who is likable. He (or she) has to be honorable and “nice” — someone good that you want to succeed or win. I don’t care if they have “issues”. I don’t care if they make mistakes. Let them have a few flaws and bad associations — I don’t care. But I can’t get into a novel or root for the main character if he or she is a bad guy or there are no good guys at all. The novel also needs to take me into other worlds. I have immersed myself in reality for over half a century. If I want reality, I’ll turn on the news broadcasts. I want escapism and that means science fiction and fantasy. And I need happy endings. What? That’s NOT what I meant! Get your mind out of the gutter — shame on all of you! ;)

Q: What items sold in most grocery stores do you feel shouldn’t be sold there?
A: What “items” plural? You make it sound like there are a slew of items that are just WRONG in being stocked in your average grocery store. For the most part, the more items the merrier. It makes it really convenient to NOT have to go to multiple stores when you do a shopping run. My only concern is when they reduce volumes to provide spaces for extra non-grocery products and then you start running out of poorly-stocked items. Be that as it may, the one item that I think should be banned from grocery stores (as well as drug stores, liquor stores, and everywhere) is tobacco products. All other products — if dangerous — are self-endangering; unless you actively misuse them (like alcohol). But second-hand smoke passively affects everyone. Tobacco products are cancerous, addictive, and just plain vile. I could go on, but I won’t.

Q: What’s your favorite donut?
A: Hands down, it is the classic glazed donut. I will eat those until I hurl. The minute I even smell them I get uncontrollable cravings. Glazed donuts and milk — heaven. Second favorite are jelly-filled — especially if they are covered in granulated sugar — not powdered sugar. Remind me to tell you the funny childhood donut story some day.

Q: Why do eReaders have “pages”?
A: This almost made me feel like I was being thrown into the “ravens and writing desks” debate and I cringed. But seriously, I think that eReaders still present the book in pages for two reasons: 1) They are trying to emulate an actual book (with all it’s good and bad points), and 2) the people who created the eReaders just haven’t yet thought out of the box beyond simply going electronic. We originally went from stone tablets to scrolls and then to the classic book to make things easier to read and easier to handle. Then advancements stopped until we invented the eReader. I think that if someone puts their genius to it, they should be able to come up with much better ways to present the text of literature — especially via eReaders. For instance, now that we have eReaders and the ability to merge text, graphics, and sound (us savvy guys call that “multimedia”); why not present literature in the form of an eReader flow using graphics and sound in lieu of some of the text parts? Why not have novels written in multimedia instead of just text? I’m not talking movies, just enhanced textual presentation. Why not have a continuous flow delineated only by whatever chapters or encapsulation the author felt was necessary for their style?

Q: Top or Bottom?
A: The following answer applies to menu/tool bars, pineapples, clothing, dungeons, tasks/chores, bunk beds, and sex. I will let you figure out which part of the answer applies to which item. In a sissy alcoholic beverage — top; in a cake — bottom. I used to be a bottom until a botched surgery turned me into a top. It’s always at the bottom of the screen (where it should be). If it’s long and tedious — bottom of the list; but if it’s innocuous or I can do it quickly — top. I can’t stand confined places so I always sleep on top. The top because you get cookies (but the bottoms have high-level bosses). During the winter — bottoms; but during the summer — neither.

August 6, 2010  Tags:   Posted in: Potpourri for $400  No Comments

A Quick and Whiney Post…

I just wanted to let everyone who is excitingly (<– naive optimism on my part) awaiting this week’s cryptogram puzzle know that it will be late today.

I have been sick for a week or two. I usually post ahead and schedule the entries to publish at certain times and I was not able to keep up last week. So don’t worry — the cryptogram puzzle will go up probably by this afternoon. … Unless I die. … In which case it will go up later. … Much later.

–Phil.

[Edited: Yeah, I was really sick. So the cryptogram puzzle didn't go up at all this week. But it will return next Monday. --PMM]

August 2, 2010  Tags:   Posted in: Potpourri for $400  One Comment